34 M. Experienced (girlfriends, etc). Realistic on my looks, 6 on a good day. Good job, hobbies, worked on myself and still do.
I have never had issues getting dates or girls my entire life. I got out of an LTR in 2022, took some time, and have gotten back out there over the last 4 months.
What I have noticed is how indecisive people (women since I like women) seem to be today. I’m talking people around my age not knowing what they want. I have had FOUR different women literally all say the same thing before a first date: “I thought I was ready to date, but I’m not and don’t know what I want.” I had one girl I was seeing for a month who was not sure what she wanted either, had a situationship on the side, and eventually ended things with me. We were like a couple, but it was “too fast too soon” which made absolutely 0 sense.
I had a date Friday and it really went well. Kiss at the end of the night. Next day (yesterday), she said she felt more of a friendship (that was a new one). I asked if I gave that vibe off, and she said no, it’s just she doesn’t know what she wants. Said she really needs to figure out her dating style.
I have tried to be set up with friends of friends but it’s the same thing. Baggage, dealing with their own issues, not knowing what they want, etc.
I should note that before these dates I have a normal small conversation and then try to set up a date. The same formula I have always used to meet people. I don’t want to get to know people through my phone, plus it’s superficial and you can’t really feel attraction unless in person. I keep it very casual before meeting IRL.
I’m just curious if anyone else is dealing with this? I know what I want: a long term monogamous romantic relationship. I find it weird people are on these apps and are lost, especially in our 30’s! People cut people off WAY too quickly. Like, things take time. Idk anymore, I grow disheartened by the day and feel I will never find the love I am looking for, or really someone who will just give it a shot instead of being so afraid. What gives?!