I had a 3th date where on the date itself was asked to become friends instead. For context we went for a walk on the beach for the first date, the 2nd was just a short one for drinks to to busy agenda’s and the 3th was drinks once again.
I have heard the lets be friends before, but it never felt sincere. This time it does, because it first started with ‘hey I have to be honest, I don’t see this going anywhere romantically’. But then we just continued talking, it even released all tension and conversation flow became super natural, as I no longer needed to search for making a move. It was late before we finally went home and thats when she asked to become friends.
I find her attractive, which I told her, and like her as a person, but I had 0 feelings yet. So I told her yea being friends could actually still work! It feels a bit weird becoming friends knowing we met on a dating app. Has this worked out for you before?
17 comments
Most of my friends are former dates or hookups. It works for me 🙂 Go for it!
Stopped at 3th
It might work, but only if you’re okay seeing her dating other guys. You have no feelings (yet), but you already said you’re attracted to her and the “just friends” part was not your call… She’s going to be actively dating, so the contact you now have with her will probably change at some point. You won’t be a priority anymore. Also there’s a big chance the friendship will fade if she meets someone. If you’re fine with all of that, go ahead.
I have some female friends I met on dating apps, but they’re mostly online friendships. We only meet up like once or twice a year in real life. Some of those friendships ended once they got a boyfriend, basically because they stopped putting in effort to stay in touch.
I became friends with someone who I had two dates with.
My only caution would be is be prepared for her to talk to you and/or complain about her future relationships and the fact she might try and stick it out with someone she is clearly not compatible with or isn’t good to her.
You mentioned you found her attractive, when she starts talking to you about future dates and asking for advice, will you be able to handle that? Will you be asking yourself, “Why couldn’t she try harder with me? She’s dating this loser!” If you think you might think that, I’d just move on altogether. If you truly and honestly have 0 feelings and it won’t bother you, then be friends.
I had this happen after a first date (didn’t feel chemistry at first) and ended up developing a relationship later.
Sounds like you gave her some boring dates, as in she may have done those with other guys previous to you and this was just another round of easy dates, sure a walk on the beach is romantic but that should be saved after a really great date or ease into walking on the beach, just a tip, and drinks could be fun, but another date of just drinks, that’s lazy dating. Unless there’s more to it than that you did for her, please tell. No hard feelings man, but no wonder she gave the “let’s be friends” line, she’s bored and wants to date other no longer see you as a possible relationship candidate, the “let’s be friends” line is all bs and she is playing safe, because she didn’t want to hurt your feelings and tell you it’s not going anywhere, or cancel on you, but goes on date and tells you that, yea, don’t be friends with her, like another poster said, it’s a waste of time, because she will find someone else and your connection with her will fade. Take this as a learning experience, do some real fun stuff, share your hobbies or interest with your dates, do other activities besides drinks and a walk on the beach, those are good but there should be more, a walk on the beach should be a closer to a date, and drinks as well. Good luck bro
I would take that as a huge compliment.
No, never, shes knows your attracted to her and will just use you as an emotional cushion to complain about other guys while you spend money on her, cut her off.
Women often have a larger social circle and will set their guy friends up with girl friends. Men not so much. So I say go for it as long as you keep your expectations non romantic and aren’t expending a lot of emotional energy or time on this person. I’d try to focus on group hangouts esp as you get beyond the getting to know you stage.
The best thing is to be the friend. Esch of you will introduce each other to other people and perhaps your person is in one of those groups.
Er no, What are you gaining from being friends with this woman? Are you lacking in friends? Social life? If a woman tries to friendzone me I’m out, I’d honestly tell her thanks but no thanks.
If you are cool with just being friends then this new friend could probably introduce to some more single ladies. A new friend and social circle sounds like a win to me!
I’m friends w many guys I’ve met on dating apps.
Nope, walk away. I’m sorry but she can go make friends like the rest of us through hobbies, interests and other friends. I’m so tired of people asking for friendship from people that they know find them attractive. That’s making for an unhealthy friendship.
Man people no need to get butt hurt about friendship. If you only wanted someone for a relationship and you are not interested in maintaining a friendship then just say peace. I have trouble wanting to spend any meaningful time with someone so friendship is awesome.
In my experience just friends hasn’t worked out for me. Only because the girls just wanted a pen pal. But I have heard of it working.
If she is nice she can help you with girl questions down the road. And she might have friends.
If you don’t want to do it just end it gracefully and no harm no foul on anyone’s part.
I know this can he such a blow to the ego but this happens to everyone. Best of luck champ!
I’ve met two people on a dating app that later became friends. Just like you said, it felt like all the tension went away and we were able to talk and hang out much more easily.