The original post was here::
https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/dPbIcz0oJS
My wife got home from her trip Sunday night. She and I talked last night, and I guess it went as good as it could have… I'm still trying to figure out what it all means for me, but I think it's good.
So, after talking, lots of emotional outbursts and anger, and honest misunderstandings we are finally on the same page and it's kinda wild!
She and I, since at least the beginning of the year, have seen our entire lives together differently! She claims, that after a mutual mushroom trip I said that "I should have let you (her) do your own thing" claiming that she thought I was referring to letting her open the marriage! Literally nothing like that had ever entered my mind, and I don't recall saying it at all, which leads me to believe that in our altered states of mind she saw it as a significant statement and I suspect if I did say it, it was a throwaway comment about something else.
Anyway, from that point on, and because she has basically explained that she has no interest in a sexual relationship with me anymore, that she assumed that we were basically friends co-habitating and co-parenting!
Holey Hell! I thought that we were still trying that whole time. Looking back at all our interactions makes so much sense now. She has been extremely amicable, but affectionately cold. Every time we went out we had fun, but I felt cut off from the kind of affection a husband and wife should have for each other.
There are so many interactions that just make more sense in this context! There were things she said or asked about that just make more sense. She thought I was seeing someone for a while, and asked about stuff, which I answered honestly about, but that she thought was just an attempt to hide it! I think that assumption just reinforced idea that we were in essence romantically separated!
Well, it's weird to both mourn, but also find sanity in a realization. As far as I'm concerned today I'm single. We can't afford to separate our residences, but that is fine. I know that will limit my dating options, but I'm not looking into dating any time soon. It's just nice to know that that is an option for me when I'm ready.
I plan on working with my wife to work out separate finances, and slowly untangle as much of our lives as we can under the circumstances.