I went to a “speedfriending” event at my university since I still haven’t made a friend a few years
I was in a group of like 10 people and we split off into groups based on common interests
I’ll be honest, I couldn’t find a common interest with anyone so once I found someone who I kinda had an interest in common with I grouped with him and one other guy
We did some icebreaker stuff, games, and while I didn’t really feel that “click” with anyone (I never seem to) I did kinda like it though I felt like I was kinda cringey at times
After the end, we all exchanged socials, but the other people in my group started to talk about a common interest they were both into and they both seemed really into it and I was just kind of floating around trying to relate with my basic knowledge of the hobby (but whenever I tried to speak I just got talked over anyway)
They scheduled to meet up, the other several people bonded over the fact that they all are from the same country, and I was left floating once again
I know this sounds like just bad luck, but it does seem to be the only outcome I’ve ever known
I am not sure what’s wrong with me, it doesn’t seem like I’m saying or doing anything wrong. But if I’ve met like 100 people and not even been able to make a casual friend, there must be something wrong with me. I think maybe my demeanour or vibe just might not be likable, but I don’t really feel like I have much control over that
3 comments
Sucks, man. Silver lining is you still got some practice in, and you likely improves a bit but just don’t realize it.
Don’t beat yourself up too hard, remember the setting. This wasn’t some wedding or office party, it was filled with people who for whatever reason have the same problem you have, and some people just vibe better.
As for the rest, see if you have a friend or relative who you can trust to “tell it like it is” and see if there’s anything your doing or saying that’s a bit much, or is often misinterpreted. Maybe there’s a hobby or something that you promote a bit too enthusiastically, maybe you tend to interrupt people. Who knows, worth asking.
Finding the best way to present yourself is tricky, and meeting close new friends after college is damn near impossible, so focus more on finding fun things to do, then seeing if there’s a local group for that thing. It’s like a guaranteed fallback topic if you run out of other things to talk about, lol.
You’ll be fine, but good luck regardless.
It might seem so. I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong w you.
It probably means you don’t connect as easily over others over small talk. You prefer deeper conversations and find it hard to connect with someone before going in depth.
What are the social situations that structure for more in-depth convos?
Well, be honest. Are you actually interested in these people, or are you focused on whether or not you have any friends, and are in a sense using them to satisfy your emotional needs and raise your personal self esteem by getting validation from them?