Hi guys (M21) I am writing to say that I am feeling lonely & just spent the whole day in bed with this awful feeling in my stomach/Heart/Chest. I am a people pleaser & have low self esteem. I can not stand up for myself & am in fear of how someone will respond. Recently I finally said, “oh screw it; today is the day that starts” my friend invited me to a party & I simply said “I’m good thanks”. She went on to say how I sounded like an a**hole. This is the exact reason I was in fear. The worst thing that could have happened….. happened. I have a girlfriend who cares & loves me. Anyone have any advice on how to deal with this without losing a friend ?
5 comments
I’m a bit confused. Are you trying to fix your people-pleasing tendencies? Or are you trying to apologize to your friend?
In all seriousness, and I learned this late, the more you spend time trying to make people happy at your expense, the worse you’ll feel about yourself because you’re reinforcing to yourself that your wants and needs don’t matter.
Also, about saying no and losing people…it will suck, but let it happen…you’ll form real relationships if you act like yourself, not artificial, unrewarding ones.
Honestly if you’re so called “friend” is accusing you of being an asshole for not going to their party than fuck em they’re not really your friend. Maybe it could just be a misunderstanding try telling them how you really feel and if they still think you’re the asshole than leave em
So the reason you have friends that bad is BECAUSE youre a people pleaser. The swcond you stop acting diffetent your friends will become different too. As qn ex people pleaser it was the best decisiok i ever msde to cut those people out. It will hurt at first but trust me dont use your current friends as a point of reference
Hey everyone. I know it has only been a day but, I went to the doctor’s office and he prescribed me some antidepressants and also counseling. He gave me some pretty good advice, mostly things you guys have told me, thank you so much ! I will never forget the few people who Commented and tried to help !