We’ve all had it happen, I’m sure. You’re vibing with someone, have a good date or two and then they start what looks like a slow fade. Do you text them to express your communication needs and give them a chance to meet those needs or do you just walk away?
Personally, I send the text, assuming the best of people. Recently, was vibing with someone, steady and fun communication. Good date. Then poof. Radio silence for days. I sent the text, saying I’m a more consistent texter. If something had changed that’s fine. Just would like to know. Got an apology and was told nothing had changed, they were just very busy traveling at the moment. Asked when I’m next available. I responded with some dates and some banter. Poof again for days. At this point, it’s hard to imagine them really not being able to respond. If they wanted to, they would and all that.
I suppose I’m curious how people feel about getting those kind of texts? I see it as approaching people in good faith. And if you aren’t that interested, why not say so in the response or not respond at all? Am I just expecting people to be too blunt?
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In very early dating or meeting anyone, I don’t start talking about “needs.” I don’t view it like an early or later relationship where these conversations matter more. I’ve never found it very useful to attempt to change basic behavior like this in the beginning but of course sometimes throwing it out there will result in a change but that’s never been consistent or reliable for me. In the case here, you’ve seen it didn’t matter. The behavior is showing you where you stand. You’re expecting people to be direct and embrace uncomfortable and awkward situations (even if you don’t feel they might be) and that’s just not how many people operate. Moreover, I would focus on in person time. If the person is not actively attempting to get a date on the schedule and show up then the texting to me is irrelevant.
People show you where you fall as a priority to them. If someone is actively interested in you, they make time and reasons to engage with you otherwise they don’t. So personally if I like someone I will just match someone’s effort and if there’s radio silence that pretty much tells you all you need to know. So give yourself the mental break and peace out already. You can still reply and have a casual fling if you want with them, but they’ve shown you where you stand to them so I think respond in kind (not with words just actions) don’t treat someone like your number one if you’re clearly not even in the top 3 or maybe 10 for that matter.
Early dating, I’d just move on. It sucks but people lose interest. Best to move on and have peace of mind vs. trying to basically beg someone to like you.
Why are you so bent on getting interest from someone who is showing you they can’t be bothered?
>what to do when a frequent texter drops off
nothing.
This has been discussed to death.
>You’re vibing with someone, have a good date or two and then they start what looks like a slow fade. Do you text them to express your communication needs and give them a chance to meet those needs or do you just walk away?
2 dates in and vibing maybe the guy is just seeing it as just that, vibing. You can express your needs but remember only 2 dates in and vibing….
Personally not a massive fan of constant texters, like I’ve either got shit to do or my focus is somewhere else. At the same time I’ll make plans with you and we can talk, banter and everything else in person.
If they said they’re busy travelling (assuming they’re being honest) why are you expecting a lot of communication? Having said that, you’d think they’d have mentioned that themselves. I would stop texting and see what happens but expect to write them off.
Go on other dates. Live your life. See them when they come back. I go on vacation places theres little or no cell phone service or internet and sometimes I’m just able to cover the bare minimum essential texts / emails.
I had a whole thread on this apparently we are the weird ones, and texting is not common nor should be expected.
1-2 dates is still within reasonable ghosting/fading territory for me (might be more my dating market) so IMHO stating communication needs that early is way too demanding of the other person
I feel like within the first 1-3 months you are still within the competitive courtship phase. You need to impress hard because that person is talking/matching with everyone and you haven’t stood out yet. So the texts should be fun and the dates should be extra fun. Rinse. Repeat.
Asking for them (basically a stranger) to behave a specific way just for you feels like an obligation and makes everything else associated with you less pleasant.
The closest I do to get a response is maybe a fun/light double text if I haven’t heard from them in ~36 hours. And this is only for people I’ve dated for at least a month
I think you’re sending those texts too soon.
It’s too soon to tell. 2 dates, maybe even 4 or 5, even if you get along like gangbusters, it’s still too soon to tell. You don’t know who this person is, and you don’t know their life, and you don’t know how they operate. You don’t know if they like you, and they don’t know if they like you, and you shouldn’t know this soon anyway.
You can have a crush, you can enjoy their company, but to truly like someone you don’t know, that’s just a crush, that’s not real just yet.
If you have fun, keep seeing him, and don’t waste your time trying to figure out what this or that “means”. And Jesus sending a text expressing your communication needs after 2 dates! I would decide that person wasn’t a match for me and would end it right there because of their insecurity.
Why do you need validation that this person likes you so much? Focus on connecting with them, not on feeling safe. The point of dating is to connect and get to know, not to avoid abandonment and feel validated.
If someone is thinking about you they’ll text you 🤷🏻♀️
If I’m not sure about someone I don’t respond immediately and then forget to… eventually I know when I need to just let em know it’s not working.
And then when it’s the other way around, and I don’t hear from someone after we’ve vibed and gone on a date and kissed or whatever I delete them and move on. I give it a week or two.
I want to call people out but…I don’t. Too scared of the response maybe?
Unless we’re at a point where I’m ready for exclusivity I do nothing. I am not expecting someone that I’m very newly dating and uncommitted to to change their communication habits for me. If someone I have been on 1-2 dates with tells me that they need more frequent communication from me, I will likely lose interest as that seems entitled and a bit much too early