My main question is if you feel like others are constantly comparing you to your partner to the point where it feels like you’re in some weird competition to gain respect as your partners significant other?
My husband is an extremely attractive, very outgoing, charming, hard working, respectful and polite man. He’s very knowledgeable about pretty much everything, too, so he always has lots to talk about to just about anyone. I, on the other hand, am very mid. Not ugly but nothing special to look at, not at all social but not rude/off-standish either. No serious interests to the point I can have more than basic small talk about. Idk just very average basic NPC I guess. But he loves me. I do my best to make him happy and he does the same. We’ve had a really happy marriage and have a beautiful child. The one thing that has always brought me down is how he always gets comments like “oh, that’s your wife? I would’ve never guessed” or when we got engaged one of my family members said to him “really are you sure? You’re such an attractive young guy who could probably get whoever you wanted?”. And more recently having everyone give my husband credit for all of our success with our business even though I’ve done at the very least 50% of the work involved. There’s been a ton of one off comments of people just straight up comparing us by our looks, past, family, and success and I’m trying to not let it get to me but it’s been wearing on me a lot. I think if I were to find out that it’s completely normal for this happen then I would be able to let it go easier.
6 comments
As an outsider reading this I can see that these comments have really stirred up the insecurities in your head and I think you are losing sight of the reality a little. What others say and think doesn’t change the fact that your husband loves you, married you and you both have a child together. You have a family and a business together and it’s going great because it takes more than just good looks to make it work.
If my wife was feeling unsure about her looks or feeling unappreciated for her efforts in our business I’d want her to tell me. I also hope that when people make these types of remarks to him, he stands up for you.
I can’t say the comments about comparing couples is uncommon. People always have something to say. I would direct your focus back to your relationship and your family and keep up the hard work!
Don’t let the dark thoughts cloud you. He picked you for a reason. Let those reasons shine.
It looks like your husband can get any woman he wants which happens to be you.
I saw this the other day and it made a lot of sense.
Hurt people hurt people.
People are trying really hard to fit you into a box that isn’t yours. Don’t let them. There’s something about you that other people can’t see–you have a superpower that keeps what sounds like the man of your dreams around and interested. Your husband chose you–chooses you every day. OWN THAT.
The last thing I’m gonna say is that life is all about focus. Focus is a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you focus on what other people say is wrong with you, then that becomes real. If you focus on being the best you and the best partner, then that becomes real.
My whole family compared me to my wife and picked her as their favorite. And that’s totally cool with me. Same thing with my brother and his wife.
My wife is simply amazing and deserves all the love and attention she gets.
There is no competition though because in the end she is mine. It’s like saying two different chambers in your heart are in competition with each other. Or maybe more like you left brain hemisphere is competing with the right. They are all the same body arnt they?
So my wife and I are the same unit, marriage, unified pair against the world. Her excellence is my excellence and my excellence is hers.