Me (29F) and my boyfriend (35M) have been dating for 2.5 years and just had a child together a month ago. We don’t live together and we have been planning to move into a place next month as a family. His current apartment lease ends in about a month. On the day he was supposed to provide 30 days notice to his landlord that he’s ending his lease, he tells me he’s actually been married but separated this whole time. His previous relationship who he told me was an ex-girlfriend is actually his wife. Apparently they have been separated since before me and my boyfriend met but he never told me. He only ever referred to her as an ex girlfriend. When we first met he even said he bought a ring while they were together because he was planning to propose but then she cheated and that’s why they broke up. I’m so confused and hurt, we’ve had several conversations about the future talking about marriage and having a family. Now I feel so stupid learning that he’s been married the whole time. He’s had so many opportunities to come clean and be honest. He says time has just “slipped away” and that’s why he hasn’t filed for divorce yet but he wanted to tell me before we move in together. At this point I’m wondering if this relationship can be saved or if it’s even worth saving. Ive been to his place dozens of times sometimes for weeks at a time so I don’t think he’s lying about the separation. But then why lie at all and not just tell me the truth from the beginning.
TL;DR
My boyfriend has been secretly married but separated for our entire relationship. We have a child together and are supposed to move in together next month.