I (30F) have been dating my GF (31F) for 4 yrs and we own a house together. Her sister (36F) lives about 3hrs away and her nieces are 14/15/21. Their Dad is currently dying of cancer, so it makes this situation a little more complicated.
Ever since we moved into our house, my GF’s sister wants to come up here all the time. She expects us to drop everything and entertain her and her 3 kids for the entire weekend, on top of footing the bill. We have a really small house and barely have room. My Dad has cancer and I’m dealing with pre-cancer of my vulva. We’re also under immense financial stress from my medical bills + unexpected house costs we had to take a loan out for (we’re talking $10k+ in debt). Life isn’t easy right now.
Recently, it’s become a new thing where they all want to come up here for their birthday… I get it because they live in a podunk town with nothing around. But it’s now turned into a huge spending fest and WE foot the bill. Like my GF’s sister brought one niece up here… but she didn’t have any money and said she’d pay us back in a few weeks. I spent hundreds of dollars on food, snacks, and entertainment. And I was put in such an awkward position because it’s essentially going to make me look horrible if I tell a 14 yr old we can’t do something for her birthday bc of money.
I’m so tired of people in my space and constantly having to set and maintain boundaries. I always have to tell them NO shoes and NO perfume allowed. Perfume makes me very sick. Just this weekend, I had to remind them 4 separate times to take their shoes off. They were walking with nasty shoes all over my wool rug that I inherited.
Then her niece sprays her body with the most disgusting, vile cheap perfume in my house. It was so bad I had to leave for hours.
But the final straw was dealing with the overall immaturity. My GF’s sister is 37 years old and I genuinely feel like I’m hanging out with a 17 yr old. She uses a weird baby voice and mocks everything her own daughters say. It’s just uncomfortable and I pretty much sit on my phone the whole time.
How do I set a boundary without it being awkward? Or is this a type of situation where we should just not allow them over at our house anymore? How do you explain this to kids?
TLDR; My GF’s sister (37F) always comes up to stay at our house for her birthday and her daughters birthdays (14/15/21). She never has money and we always foot the bill for plans she makes and we spend money we don’t have. How do I set a boundary in this situation?