I (27f) found out today that my boyfriend of almost 3 years (27m) kissed another girl about a year and a half ago while he was on holiday by himself.
He told me after we had a casual conversation about his (engaged) friend kissing other girls on a night out last week. Apparently while my boyfriend was away last year he’d been drinking and socialising with locals all day (including this girl), had gotten very drunk, and late in the evening it had just been the two of them left and they had kissed. After that, he broke it off and left for his hotel after, and he has never seen or spoken to her since.
He was insistent that his being drunk was not an excuse, and that this sort of thing has never happened before or since. I asked who had instigated the kiss, and although it was the girl who had kissed him first, he didn’t feel that was an important factor – because he had returned it, he said that makes him as guilty as if he had instigated it himself.
His reasoning for never telling me before, despite apparently wanting to as soon as he got home from that trip, is that he wouldn’t have been telling me for my sake but to ease his own guilt, and it wouldn’t have been fair to me if that was the case because it could only hurt me to make him feel better. He said he broke his own moral code, he is disgusted with himself, and it’s the worst thing he’s ever done. He said in my shoes he would probably be thinking about breaking the relationship off.
I do believe him when he says he is sorry and that he would never do anything like it again. I do feel like our relationship can move past it, but I am worried I would be a fool to accept what happened and move on with our relationship so easily.
I really don’t know how to feel about all of this – any words of wisdom would be appreciated.
Tl;dr : my boyfriend owned up to cheating on me (kissing only) last year and I believe he’s sorry and he wouldn’t do it again but I don’t know how to move forward from here.