The other day I was with two friends at a networking event (we’re all women in our late 20s). I met a girl who reminded me of another friend of ours, let’s call her Annie, who wasn’t there- very sweet, softspoken, petite, cute, and with a longterm boyfriend. I made a (bad) joke after the new girl walked away and said “she’s like Annie, but even more tame”. I tried to make up for it later in the conversation mentioning our absent friend only comes off that way initially, and obviously has depth / layers, because I felt so bad about my offhanded somewhat mean remark- sometimes I just think before I speak and I’m working on it.
Now I’m insecure because my three friends including Annie all hang out with each other more than they hang out with me, and I saw pictures today of them out for a birthday dinner I wasn’t invited to. Do you think I need to verbally address my character flaw of sometimes speaking out of turn? Or should I assume they accepted my in the moment apology and the exclusion isn’t personal? We are good friends even if I am not part of the main trio and their behavior towards me otherwise didn’t seem to change. I think sometimes I have a habit of roasting the people I’m closest to because that’s very much my family’s style, but obviously it doesn’t translate to all social groups.