My partner 33M and I 34F recently got engaged, (together 5 months but have known each other but over a year) and while this should be an incredibly happy time, his very traditional father has made it anything but. His dad has expressed that he hates my tattoos, the fact that I’ve been married before, and that I have kids (half of whom are adopted after my sister passed away). He believes my fiancé could find someone younger and "better" to have his own kids with and has made it clear he would never treat us like family.
This has devastated my partner. He tends to shut down when he’s depressed, and I feel like he’s shutting me out and pushing me away right now. He keeps insisting that it’s not about me, but it definitely feels like it is. I know he’s really struggling, especially since he quit his job a month ago due to depression. He told me he was finally feeling happy until this blow from his dad.
I want to be there for him, but it’s hard when he’s pushing me away. We live separately, and when we aren’t together, there’s almost zero communication unless I reach out first. Even then, it feels like he’s distant and the responses are forced.
For context, I own a successful business and also work another full-time job, so I have no issues helping him financially through this tough time. But more than that, I just want to support him emotionally and help him get through this.
How can I help him without making him feel pressured or overwhelmed? Any advice on how to navigate this situation would be greatly appreciated.
TLDR: partners dad doesn’t approve of our engagement- seeking advice to help him through this.