My partner accused me of gaslighting because I encouraged her to apply for a position and she did it. Now shes trying to turn it on me that she is struggling and wants to quit her job. I said she was ultimately the one who asked my opinion on it.
She only talked about it a number of times. Talked how her boss was training her to do the position. She even blames him for encouraging her to apply.
I said it was ultimately her choice that she decided to apply and accept the job. Nobody else’s. She said I was gaslighting her.
Tl;dr: Apparently I’m gaslighting by stating my encouragement isnt not the same as her choice. She chose to apply for a position she always wanted.
6 comments
Your gf doesnt know what gaslighting means. That is clear. Maybe she should act more mature and quit if she can’t do it.
People have been over using the word gaslighting without knowing the true definition and she’s an example of one of those people
Sounds like she can’t take accountability for struggling in her new found position and is gaslighting you
I would ask her what she thinks gaslighting is, since she doesn’t seem to have any understanding of the word. If she thinks it is a form of abuse though, then break up. If your partner thinks you are abusive, then you should end the relationship – because whether they are right or wrong, the relationship is clearly dead.
Does she know what gaslighting means?
None of this is clear.
I suspect you need to take a deep breath and actually listen to your partner’s concerns and try to hear what she is upset about or fearful of. She may be being completely unreasonable, but there are clearly some feelings here that need to be addressed and I don’t see signs you’ve understood them.
What you’ve described isn’t abuse. Gaslighting is a form of abuse. This is not gaslighting. She’s wrong to say that.
But your question is also so extremely vague and so heavily worded in your own favor it’s a bit difficult to accept it as the full story.