I’m finding myself in a confusing situation and need some help thinking this through. So my husband and I were planning on having sex tonight. When it finally came time to, he told me to take my shirt off. I said I will. Then he started repeating it in a demanding way because I didn’t do it right away. I said “I will, chill, you get in bed first”. I also told him that I don’t like waiting in bed with my shirt off, I’d rather take it off later (i.e. when we are actually getting intimate). Then he started making comments about how I don’t have my hair down yet either. How I don’t know how to be “sexy”. I got really annoyed at that point. I had a rough day with the kids (we have four kids nine and under) and I’m a stay at home mom. What does he expect me to do? Have an on/off “sexy” button? So after I didn’t give him the response he wanted (guess I didn’t take my shirt off fast enough + put my hair down + show interest as readily as he wanted me to), he took it personally and started to get upset with me. (Another point worth mentioning is that this is all without any sort of foreplay and barely any time spent together). He got all moody and said there’s no point in having sex with me anymore. This would be fine, if he didn’t make me feel so bad about it. It’s like he blames me for not being “ready” for having sex with him. Then he goes on to call me “annoying pms-ing girl”. When I got upset, hurt and confused about what he said and called him out, he called me a fucking idiot for nagging him about it.
I’m really hurt by this and I’m wondering if I’m thinking into this too much and overreacting or is this behavior from my husband not okay?