My husband (43M) and I (34F) have been together for 4.5 years, married for two.
When we met, I made it abundantly clear that while I wasn’t in a hurry to start a family, I definitely wanted to in the years to come. He said children were not a must for him but that he was open to it.
As the years went by, he kept sliding in comments like ‘eeww’, ‘why would anyone bring children into this cruel world’, ‘I hope this wasn’t your fertile window’, ‘I guess you’re forcing me to be a father’. Most times I continued the conversation to ask what exactly he meant and that we had agreed to have children eventually, other times I shrugged it off.
I recently developed a condition that affects my fertility so the conversation has been discussed more than previous times, as I’m trying to freeze my eggs and our fertility doctor recommended embryo freezing instead. The conversation keeps being brought up as ‘are we seriously going to do this’, ‘why can’t you let it go’ etc. And now naturally he’s not taking the fertility treatment process seriously and doing his part (blood works…)
As background, we’re both in corporate and make a decent amount as a couple so money is not the problem per se (although one could always have more to provide for a family).
His brother recently got divorced after his now ex ‘forced him’ to start a family, and raising the kid was their primary problem.
I love my husband, but I partly blame him for the situation I am in. Not only is the lifestyle he has created for us detrimental to my health (being out, not sleeping, complaining when I want to rest etc) but I’m a big believer of energy and he doesn’t treat me like the future mother of my children. Like he’s literally suggested a hysterectomy to get rid of the pain on my condition.
Folks who have experienced this, will this man be happy raising our future children if we come to have them? Or am I setting myself up for failure?