Hey everybody, this is my second post on here 🙂
I just feel like one of the things I’ve been struggling with recently is negativity. I feel like I make myself look so weak in front of people and I end up being too vulnerable with them and I feel like they’re taking that as negative as well, and they don’t wanna be around me, and I think that does contribute to a previous post I’ve made about not having as many friends.
I had a conversation with a girl recently kind of about something she posted and I was like just letting her know that I agree with it and what not. And we’re both Christian, so I felt compelled to be open with her about something. I know she meant well 1000% but she said something along the lines of “honestly in a couple months that I’ve known you. You’ve brought this up frequently and I think you just need to let it go.” Again, I know she wasn’t trying to be mean and I know she was coming from a good place, and she proceeded to explain all the good things about letting go, which I appreciate. but I just feel so ashamed of myself because I let another person see me as weak and negative. Like I know she was trying to be nice, but I could also see her just being really annoyed and not trying to be mean. I know it’s really draining to be around somebody like me and I’m glad that I’m able to be self-aware about that and willing to change.
FYI, I’m not depressed really, I recognize that I have so many good things going on in my life that I’m so grateful for and I will talk about those things over the negative things, and I wish I let people see that side of me more. But I keep reflecting on people that I’m not friends with anymore and I keep bringing up how it’s affecting me and what I could’ve done to be better.
I’m just getting to a point where I really need to stop opening up to people about everything cause they’re gonna get the wrong ideas about me and they’re just gonna see me as a negative depressing person and I don’t wanna place that burden on anybody. Does anybody have any advice on like just how to be stronger and more confident and not open up to people about struggles just so they don’t see you as weak or negative? One of the steps that I want to take is just spending some time away from my church community (still of course going to church on Sundays) and working on myself from the inside out and then coming back as like a whole different person.