So this is a pretty frequent occurrence where I(31M) go to bed later then my wife(31F) because she likes to have the TV loud when she's trying to go to bed and I like it quiet. I don't like the light and don't like conversations going on when I'm trying to go to bed because I'll fixate on them and not be able to go to sleep. I wear face mask and ear plugs but the TV volume she likes is just too loud.
So that's not really the problem the problem is that she'll fall asleep laying diagonally across the bed so there's no where for me to sleep. So when she does this I usually wake her up so she moves over. Well she's been working a lot of hours lately and she blew up on me and told me I can sleep in the other room or sleep on the couch. We have a king size mattress in our room and our spare room has a twin I can't sleep worth a shit on that bed. She basically told me when she's working all those extra hours I just need to deal with it and our relationship won't be 50-50 during those times.
I just feel like this is a shit way to deal with things. She's basically over working herself at work for no overtime and no credit and I have to do every single household chore and also not get any sleep because she says she has a hard time going back to bed. Well if she doesn't work herself into a rage she almost never seems to have a hard time falling back asleep. She's stormed off and locked herself in the other room and said she's going to sleep in there for the next three weeks because "I don't get it." Sleep is just one of those things I've never really been willing to sacrifice and she obviously thinks it's important too I have no idea why she ever even lays down in a position in which blocks the whole bed. It just incredibly selfish to me and she never had a good reason for it besides "I didn't do it intentionally."
I also work hybrid so I have days where I work from home so she says I can just take naps during the work day. I'm not usually super busy but I do have to be available if anyone needs my time and I feel like she just undervalues my work and job because I choose a job where I have a work life balance. She's a workaholic and I wish she'd just realize it's not worth it if it's putting a strain on literally every other aspect of her life.
Following morning she follows up and was expecting an apology from me. I don't feel like I did anything wrong and cannot give an honest apology for something I feel like at best we both did things wrong. She says since I won't apologize she is going to move into the room the next 3 weeks and that she'll handle dinner for herself moving forward. I just feel like she emotionally black mails me and bullies me into apologizing and feeling like an asshole pretty often and I'm kind of over it.
TL;DR I woke my wife up because she was sleeping diagonally across the bed to go to bed. She got mad because she's stressed and overworked at her job. She expects me to apologize I don't feel like I did anything wrong. I've talked to her about this before and feel that when she falls asleep like that it's being selfish because she is only thinking of herself. Every time we've had an argument over this she is resolute that I am in the wrong.