How to initiate?

My boyfriend feels unwanted by me sexually , he says I don’t initiate sex with him or ever ask for sexual pics of him, it’s always him asking first . hearing this from him really really hurt my heart becuase I know how much of an awful feeling that is and I never want to make him feel that way, the truth is I’m extremely shy and insecure about my body so initiating sex or asking for sexual pics of him is very hard for me , but I didn’t realize the effect it really had on him , he’s even said one time he even felt gross becuase of my reaction while I was giving him head .. I was very shy & hesitant to do it at the time because I was so scared I was doing it wrong and felt stupid , I never thought about how that made him feel , now I just feel so awful and I want to fix it , he’s told me that now he’s worried it will feel fake because he’s told me now and I’m only doing it due to him telling me , I told him I would 100% fix it and initiate more , and I really want to I just don’t even know how to go about it . What are ways to initiate that don’t feel forced or fake? Im not unwilling to initiate, I think it’s more so feeling terrible about myself and hating my body so much to the point I don’t want to be rejected by him , I’m lowkey scared he feels the same way about my body