TL;DR : I’ve just gotten into my first relationship and i don’t know how I’m supposed to be feeling. I love my boyfriend but I don’t feel IN love with him. I feel awful about it, and feel he deserves better. Is it normal to feel this way? Should I call it off before he gets more attached than he already is?
I (18F) just recently got into my first ever relationship and we’ve been dating almost a month now. Im pretty sure I love my boyfriend (18M) He was my friend for 2 years, my best friend a year and a half after that, and now we’re finally together and he’s still my best friend. Our relationship has been complicated and has definitely had its ups and downs before we got together (his fault lol) but we’ve made it to where we are today and it’s going well. He makes me feel loved and pretty and happy. He’s very considerate of me and is very communicative and makes sure I’m okay. I feel comfortable and content with him and I want him to feel loved and cared for and I do my best to make this happen because I actively want to love him. Hurts to see him sad
However, I don’t feel like I feel how I should be feeling you know? I don’t feel the jaw dropping heart pounding out of my chest kind of ‘love’ for him. I don’t think he’s perfect by any means in both personality and appearance, and I don’t fawn over him or really feel what these people are writing love songs or making movies about. I used to daydream about being in love and I just don’t feel how I thought it would feel. I’ll listen to love songs and not relate to a single lyric. It makes me sad that I maybe don’t love him as much as he deserves or should be because it’s unfair to him. Unfair that I’m dating him and I just don’t feel that way about him. Is it supposed to feel that way? It’s like I love him but I don’t feel in love.
I don’t want to keep pursuing a relationship with him if I can’t give him 100% because it isn’t fair and he can find someone who experiences all those feelings for him. But I do love him and don’t want to break up, because I do enjoy the relationship. It’s only really when I overthink that I don’t. and also it would hurt him so much if I left him. But yeah I just don’t know how I should be feeling or if it’s normal to be feeling this way about my bf. Words of wisdom, advice or any commentary really is greatly appreciated, thank you