I have a shit life. It's so shitty it's almost comedic in a messed up way. I'm in my mid 20s, nearly everyone in my family is either dead, abused and left as a vegetable, or mentally broken. I don't have any joyful things happen to me besides maybe a morning coffee tasting good or my dogs doing something cute.
All my friends have what I believe to be a sort of fatigue from me, I was rock bottom a few days ago and I unloaded at a friend after he broke a promise we made about something unimportant, I vented about how I can't even have the smallest of wins. Anytime someone asks me what happend to me it's always negative, nothing positive that's noteworthy happens to me. I try to crack jokes and be funny when I'm with my friends but I think it's just not working when they know its to cower up something awful. I hate that people feel like they can't share anything bad that happend to them because I exist, an incarnation of misery. I was contemplating straight up lying and making up positive things or scenarios just so people have an easier time with me, but I think it's simply too late and my friend groups lost.
My current plan is to go no contact with the few remaining friends who message me out of pity, tell them I'm busy or something, and just try to find an entirely new group of people to hang out with and start by lying about how decent my life is going, would this be a feasable thing or would I be too exhausted from having to keep up lies? I really don't want to end up alone but I realize that I can't expect people to include me anywhere if I'm this miserable. What other options would I have?