And I'll prove it to you that you care waaaay more than you're able to admit in public, or maybe even to yourself, because I sincerely doubt you would date someone who's hair is constantly unkempt and never styled or cut, wears dirty clothes all the time, cares little about shaving, and has yellow teeth, no matter how great of a person they are or how amazing the chemistry is between the two of you
I sincerely doubt you'd even be talking to them in the first place, and if appearances mattered to you as little as you say then no homeless person out there would be sad and lonely sleeping under a bridge tonight because they'd all be warm and cozy in your beds sleeping next to you right now
But if you show me a pic of your SO and they have all that going on then I'll congratulate you for being the 1 in a million person that claims that looks aren't important who actually puts their money where their mouth is, lol
Point being is we really should just normalize being able to say while we want all the chemistry, compatibility, great personality, amazing sex, meaningful connection, similar moral framework, and unconditional love our ideal match brings to table we really shouldn't have to feel like others are going to think we're shallow or superficial if we happen to have the poor taste of actually saying we care about how they look and want to be physically attracted to this person along with all those other good things and maybe, just maybe, that attraction is almost if not equally as important as the rest
It's really irksome and tiring to have to do this little dance where you first and foremost need to strenuously stress how absoposilutely very little you care about the way a person looks whenever we're talking about the topic of a potential partner lest everyone think the only thing you care about is something that's shallow and superficial when in reality it's actually very important to us all regardless of our attempts to downplay it's significance
There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying that you care without having to go out of your way to insist that their personality is super important on top of it too