I’ve been dating this guy for 1 month now and we’ve been on 5 dates. I like him a lot, find him incredibly attractive and I’m looking for something serious.
So far he’s been very sweet and considerate: he always takes me home at the end of the night (accompanying me by bike) which is totally not necessary but he does it, he insists on paying for everything, always plans the next date at the end of the previous date and didn’t suggest a date at his place or invite me home up until our 5th date. So at the end of our 5th date he invited me back to his, I declined because it was 1am on a work night but also because my thoughts were spiraling a bit too much. We made out in the street and he started touching me a bit. He asked me if I want to see him 3 days later and come over to watch a film that we’d talked about—to me this is code for let’s get it on.
I could easily have sex with him in a physical sense: I like sex and he is HOT. But in an emotional sense I feel uncomfortable. I’m a sensitive soul and struggle to separate sex and emotions. I need to feel truly safe with someone in order to not feel emotionally vulnerable afterwards. So far this guy has seemed keen and invested in his actions, but verbally he’s not given me any reassurance like saying “I like you” or something and I have no idea what his intentions are except what his hinge profile says “looking for a relationship, open to short”, but this could really mean anything.
I think online dating has scarred me a little bit with this as I find it hard to trust a man’s intentions and always assume they want to have sex and then their interest will dwindle.
I don’t know what to do. Am I overthinking too much? I like him, I’m super attracted to him, he’s been so sweet, should I just go for it and see if we’re compatible sexually? And just take the risk of ending up in some FWB/situationship that I don’t want. Or will he in fact lose interest if I say no to sex on the 6th date? If I decide not to, I was thinking of sending a text beforehand to give a heads up like “I find you really hot but I need to get to know you better before I feel comfortable having sex”. Or I could also say “I'm looking for something long lasting and serious and don't feel comfortable having sex with someone until I know how we both feel” — What are your thoughts on those messages? Also don’t want him to think I’m playing games, I just want to feel safe
I think what I honestly need from him in order to feel comfortable at this stage is either some verbal acknowledgement about how he feels about me and what he’s looking for/his intentions (is this too intense though after we’ve only been on 5 dates??) or I just need more time to trust he’s keen and sticking around