Not sure what to do about my (25F) relationship with my boyfriend (26M)

So a few things to note before I go in:

\- Living in Europe

\- English is not my first language, it’s my third so sorry for any mistakes

\-There’s so much info so I don’t know how to make it make sense

So we have been in a long term relationship for nearly five years and have lived together since the beginning basically (he came over once and basically ended up living at my place). There have been talks about engagement and marriage but they have been mostly from my side, with him agreeing that he would like to get married to me but not actually doing anything.

I have been on the fence about being with him in general for the simple fact that I feel like his mother. I cook, I clean, I walk our dog, and if there’s anything needed to be done at home I find it easier to do it myself rather than ask him. (I do believe this is because of my upbringing as my mother has taught me to be independent and never depend on a man. Her two main sentences I remember from being younger were “If you’re not skinny, you’re not pretty” and “You have two hands and a brain and so does a male, why shouldn’t you be equal or better”)

There’s also the fact that up until a few months ago, he only did contractual work and not the regular 9-5, but his income was triple my monthly salary. Despite that, I covered our food costs, mortgage (the apartment is in my name and it’s my loan), cable and internet, home and pet insurance and whatever else needed. He covers utilities, gas for his car which he drives and food-wise his lunches and the meals when we went out. So numbers would be something similar to that my income was around 1k, 300 goes to the mortgage, 300 to food, 200 to cable, internet, insurances etc and I would be left with around 200 to myself every month. Meanwhile, he earned around 2-5k, spending 100 on utilities and around 100-200 on our food. Absolutely I don’t feel like he should cover the apartment loan but anything else I feel should be split more evenly.

Besides the money issue, there’s also the issue with his mood swings. The thing that bothers me the most is that I feel as if the same rules don’t apply to us both. For example, I’m actually very introverted and I enjoy sitting in silence or reading a book and just generally hanging out at home. He gets very anxious if he has to be at home and do nothing and therefore wants to spend our evenings chatting with his friends in a parking lot or hanging around in shops or anything else. I need my alone time, I need quiet. He takes the fact that I just chill in the car in silence as a fact that I’m being boring and ruining his mood. However, if he’s tired and wants to just chill, I have to be quiet and leave him alone, otherwise he will bite my head off.

Just this morning, he agreed to take me on the bus on his way to work (no additional effort needed from him at all as the station is on the way to his work) and the bus station is a 15-minute drive from home and despite me waking him up multiple times, he got out of bed 5 minutes before we were supposed to leave home and angry at me for waking him up as he was not feeling good. Then he asked me to grab his stuff so I grabbed his phone charger, e-cigarette and keys and put them all with his wallet on the shelf ready for me. Cue a few seconds later he’s angry at me because I put his car keys next to his keys as well and he “didn’t know that I would also get those and spent time looking for them” and also mad that I didn’t get his laptop charger (how should I know that you need a laptop charger???)

Every time I bring up that maybe he could help me with chores (he has washed the dishes like 5 times in 5 years) he either finds some excuse or says something like “ok let’s clean on Saturday” and when Saturday comes he says that “I’ll get out of your way so you can clean”. He had a plate next to his bed (I brought him breakfast to bed) for 3 weeks before I finally have up and cleaned it up myself.

I feel like I’m undervalued and tired of this. I work two jobs and have full-time school on weekends and I’m running low on everything. Sometimes I just feel like if it were just me and my dog, my life would be so much easier and less stressful because I wouldn’t have to tiptoe around my own apartment, scared to do something that might piss him off or irritate him. I’ve brought up couple’s counselling but according to his words “therapy is brainwashing you”.

Every time we have a fight and I say that maybe we shouldn’t be together as we’re clearly not working, he starts insulting me that a relationship with a fucked up bitch like me is impossible and clearly we should break up. Then we go to separate rooms and in an hour or so he comes and apologizes for cursing at me and says that he obviously doesn’t want to break up as he loves me and wants to be with me. But after five years of the same thing over and over again, every time he comes and apologizes I feel like maybe I don’t want to be together anymore.

Is there even a point to continue the relationship? I feel like we’re both a bit unhappy, despite loving each other but sometimes feels like love is not enough.

TLDR: I feel undervalued and like a mother in a long term relationship and don’t know what to do.