Me and my ex-boyfriend were together for 2 years and broke up about 3 months ago. I initiated it, we had several issues we just couldn’t work through because of his stubbornness and I figured that I had to give him a kick up the ass.
I recently reached out to him and found out he’d moved into his own apartment. Since he seemed to have his life back together, when he asked if I’d want to meet up for a drink I said yes.
We reconnected well, got drunk, and I was too drunk to drive. I stayed over at his apartment which was nearby. One thing led to another there and we had sex.
Now we’ve always been a bit rough, that’s just how we like it. But he is usually so kind and caring and even during sex he’s checking in on me, making sure he hasn’t crossed any boundaries, telling me he loves me. This time wasn’t like that. He didn’t check in on me or check if he’d crossed boundaries – e.g he can hit my cervix pretty often and always asks if I’m okay when he does but this time he hit it several times and didn’t give a fuck, he didn’t tell me he loved me which is understandable, but he spanked me, choked me, thrusted etc. way harder than he used to and his dirty talk sounded so angry instead of the gentle dominance I was used to.
I felt used by the end of it and while I enjoyed it at the time I’ve been thinking about it and it makes me feel uncomfortable, like he hates me, scared that he’s capable of that, and I’m not sure what the best course of action is. I don’t want him to feel bad but I also don’t really want to let him think if we hook up again that he can do it again. Why did he behave like that in the first place, I don’t get it?
Tl;dr: Hooked up with an ex I finished with 3 months ago. He’s usually a soft dom and a gentle lover but was extremely rough and it made me feel uncomfortable afterwards. Why did he treat me like this and what do I do next – ask him, and if so how do I make him not feel bad about it?