I seem to be okay socially only when I’m with one person

3 comments

1. Same here. I think it has to do with family upbringing. If you came from a dysfunctional family, where speaking up was frowned upon (perhaps), this could have possibly made you less comfortable in group settings. ie: being fearful of speaking up due to perceived consequences

2. You have to compete for time in the spotlight with a crowd whereas 1-1 is more polite turn-taking. There’s also more going on in a group which can be harder for some people to deal with.

   I was out with work friends once and one of them took me aside. She said she’d been watching me all evening and that I didn’t really participate in the group antics, but went around and spent some 1-1 time with each person. I didn’t know I’d been doing that! It was purely me naturally finding opportunities to engage in my most comfortable style of engagement. She found it amusing, but also approved and liked it.

3. I think your just worried what the person you know might think of you, it means you can’t be yourself around those people… often times they did nothing and it’s all in your head, other times they are very judgmental and just toxic people… this used to happen with me and my dad, he would quite literally force me to socialize with middle aged men (his friends) alone (that sounds weirder than it is), I socialized quite well with them up until my dad came, I would freeze up and not know what to do.

   Now (at 16) I know the issue, I was scared to say something infront of my dad cuz he is very judgmental.

   I hope that helped! Much love, keep it up 👍