So we are in a good and stable relationship, we communicate often especially when we butt heads because it always helps us figure out what’s wrong and what to fix. Now, like the title says I’m a really horny dude and despite that I didn’t think it would be a huge issue. Any lustful desires or thoughts are always about my fiance so I’m confident when I say I don’t want any other woman. The reason I think it’s becoming an issue is because of how often I’m “in the mood” it’s making her feel like I only care about sex. I love her very deeply and she’s the only person that I’ve ever felt so comfortable and compatible with and I know if sex were out of the picture I would still want to be with her, however because my libido is so high I will admit, sex is often on my mind. If it’s bothering me so much to where it gets to that point I’ll often jump to the thought of jerking off, simply to get rid of the lust and have a clearer mind. It’s not that my fiance doesn’t want sex, more so it’s that I want too much sex. And with how long we’ve been together her libido has naturally dropped a bit and she no longer feels as horny while I feel the same if not hornier. I don’t like jerking off though either because it makes her feel bad because she feels like she isn’t enough and can’t “satisfy my desires” which I know isn’t her fault, it’s mine for having such a high libido.
TL:DR I love her deeply for much more than just sex but because of how often I’m horny it makes her feel like all I care about is sex. I’m not sure what to do, I’ve tried controlling myself but I can only do it for so long before it becomes excessive for me but I also don’t want her to feel like a sex object. Any suggestions to help with my control or things that I or we can do to lower or control my libido?
3 comments
You need to masturbate. It’s a healthy, normal thing, that a LOT of people in established relationships do. Her feelings around masturbation are understandable, but she needs to work through them on her own.
If you can’t take care of your own needs, you WILL combust the relationship. Partners with sex drives too far apart break up all the time, because there *is* no fix.
Yeah, you need to be able to masturbate. No debate. Its fine for you to have a higher libido and its fine for her to have a lower one – but do not feel like you need to lower your libido or that it’s bad to take care of yourself. This is no one’s “fault”, you just have different sex drives and both need to be aware of this and support each other both being satisfied. If she stops you from being able to masturbate that’s an issue.
How often are you pushing for sex?