My bf of 3+ years has had this habit of, on big occasions like birthdays and Christmas, he will tell me the gift he is going to get me (or tell me ahead of time) and then just never gets it. They are always really thought out presents, and even if I remind him about it multiple times, he never takes the initiative to actually GET the thing.
Last year for my birthday he bought me a small gift, and told me my main present was something we would schedule together. I gave him the info he needed, plus a bunch of reminders.
This year he sent me links for the present he wanted to get me for my birthday well beforehand because he wanted to make sure I liked it. It’s something we have to go in person to try on, so it’s always going to be hard to find a time that works for both of us. But I just wish he would take initiative on these things. He didn’t even get me a card this year.
It’s getting to the point where I feel sad thinking about getting him stuff, or when a holiday of special occasion comes and I have a feeling what’s going to happen. I HAVE brought this up to him in the past, but he low key has a terrible memory. I swear he’s a great boyfriend, super understanding and sweet and better than me when it comes to so many other aspects of the relationship.
I grew up in a family where gifts were important, and he didn’t really. So that might be a factor? I drop little hints about it occasionally, or just tell him to switch it out and treat me to something I was going to get myself anyways. But at this point it seems pointless.
It’s not the fact that he’s not BUYING me things- although, who doesn’t like it when ppl do that- it’s more that he’s not putting in the effort to do these things that he says he will.
Am I being ridiculous orrrr what
Edit: I also just wanna clarify that he’s the nicest person ever, I know he never does it on purpose. I just don’t know how to explain it better than I have in the past wout sounding hella self obsessed… idk