So I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year but lately I have been having a lot of trouble blindly trusting my girlfriend.
I have always held belief that trust is one of the most important aspect in relationships. I thought that if I felt the need to ask my gf to prove her loyalty, it is better off to end it. As such I have never asked my girlfriends to prove their loyalty, felt the need to go through their text messages etc.
However, now that I’m having a very hard time adhering to my principles. I’m always second guessing my judgements and not able to find the line between controlling behaviour and not being played with.
So everything was relatively fine with my girlfriend but recently I noticed few things which changed everything.
I noticed that my gf has kept her relationship secret with in front of everyone.
She has been hanging out with few guys, as far as I know, it is not specifically with one guy, but it’s a group of guys.
She has no trouble accepting gifts/roses from other guys; who, like I said don’t know she’s in a relationship.
I accidentally found out that a guy came over to her house at night that she wasn’t planning on telling me – but she probably doesn’t care about him much because he met with a very serious accident and later found out that he was jobless and broke, it didn’t seem to bother her much.
I brought about this topic few weeks ago and she said it is not unfair of me to expect her to disclose the relationship status in front of everyone, she will, but just hasn’t found the right occasion.
I just don’t buy this argument at all as I have never had this happen to me. She maintains that she loves me and “how can I prove it to you?” Is her question always.
Everything is so confusing to me. I don’t want to throw away the relationship just because of my insecurity (if it is indeed just that) but also I don’t want to be a backup for her while she evaluates her options. I don’t want to go over her phone, but at the same time I am not able to bring myself to trust her blindly like I did before, considering the circumstances.
How do I proceed with this? I know breaking up is the straight forward answer, I’m strongly considering that, but I just wanted to check if there could be any viewpoints. Please feel free to ask for more details if needed and happy to take criticism wherever applicable.
Tl:dr – gf is acting suspiciously and doesn’t seem to care enough to clear them out for me, this is making me question if I should even bother continuing the relationship.