Always good but never good enough

The subject is like my life motto. In jobs, in relationships, in studies. People will always say how great I am, but I'm never great enough to put in any effort for. Focus: men. I'm turning 33 in a few weeks, I always have this problem in meeting men. I always get a message after the first date saying they want to see me again. They will always say they like me and that I'm a good person and independent and different to many females (in a good way I assume). But somehow I'm only ever good enough for the interim till they find someone better. I'm not the female they take with on friends outings, work events family events etc. In always the female they see and don't like to let anyone know. They never put in effort to make plans for our times we hang out, never treat me or take me on dates. It's always "I want to see you" and they don't plan anything. And if I question like what we are or if they like me they disappear. They also disappear and suddenly have a new woman who they are putting in effort for. And that lady will be the one they let their friends meet, and take on business trips etc. Most times it's a hot blonde. I'm brown with dark hair, but many men tell me I'm attractive. But I'm never worth anything more than them hoping they would get lucky with me. And I definitely do not hold such a reputation. I'm independent, working full time, no kids, no pets. Live alone, not high maintenance with spending money on all appearance things etc. But yet I'm never enough for a man to want to put in effort for me. Yet the same guy will go out in all this effort for another female.