Tired Of Life and loneliness not getting anywhere,

Why is life so hard these days, I'm tired of everything I have no life anymore, I constantly worry figuring out how I'm going to pay my rent month to month. I currently pay $950 a month for a 3 bedroom house and it's just me living in it, Being Lonely is even worse, none of my family comes to see me and there all close by, currently single I've never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship and I'm 35 years old. I had a job for about 6 months working at a hospital but that job was awful and wasn't getting all my bills paid, just my rent and then i only had $60 left out of my check to last till the next payday. I do make a little money online doing eCommerce drop shipping selling home goods but it's a struggle ever since all the rules changed with ebay and all these payment processors hold your money. I also have health problems going on, I have TMJ, Sleep Apnea, Hearing loss that has never been this bad and I've had hearing problems all my life. I am still trying to get the Sleep Apnea treated to see if things improve. I feel like i should be entitled to a SSDI check each month that would at least help on keeping my rent paid, I really wish i would have purchased a house or mobile home back in 2019, I had enough money to purchase a fixer upper and wouldn't have had to worry like this. I Don't like working around people because its so hard for me to hear people most of the times. I wish there was something i could do from home working online that will bring me a decent income. I currently do Grubhub but its wrecking havoc on my car. I just wish i could find a girlfriend that could help me pay split the bills, Life is not fair. I use Match but it's like talking to a brick wall on there. I tried a roommate last year but she left because i was a month behind on my rent, I'm all caught up now, but the worrying continues on how I'm gonna pay next month's rent. anyone have any advice?