TLDR; My husband got so drunk and acted so out of character, I had to leave my best friend’s wedding early to take him back to the hotel. He was so drunk, he doesn’t remember half of it, particularly his aggressive behaviour.
My main reason for this post is I have so, so many emotions, I don’t know how to get over this or how to process it.
My best friend got married on Saturday, and I was one of her bridesmaids. It was an Indian (Sikh) wedding, and it had taken two years to plan. My best friend has moved four hours away in the past year, so we don’t see eachother as often as we’d like. However, I have been involved in all of the lead up to her big day, and have been her support through the thick of it. It was a beautiful day, and a once in a lifetime experience, and I was so excited to party the night away.
During the day, I fulfilled my bridesmaid duties and helped my friend whenever she needed it, i.e.: toilet breaks, food breaks, as she was busy with her 300+ guests and all of the traditional rituals the wedding followed. I had a total of three alcoholic drinks the whole evening, whereas every time I saw my husband, he was even drunker than before. He ended up drinking 7 pints of lager before switching to gin and lemonade. He had three doubles before the final ceremonial act was completed in the evening. He was so drunk, he couldn’t stand up straight and was swaying all over the place. He must’ve sense that I was annoyed, so he kept asking me to tell him what was wrong. I responded by telling him that we’d talk about it tomorrow, when he’d sobered up. He insisted I tell him, and after 20 minutes of constant questioning, I told him that I hadn’t felt supported and I didn’t like how drunk he was.
For context, we have this mutual agreement that whenever we attend a friend’s wedding, the one who is closest to the couple getting married has first dibs on drinking. For example, if we attended his friend’s wedding, I would expect him to let loose whereas I would be more reserved to ensure I could drive home the next day and make sure he had a good time. It’s always been this way.
Once I had confessed how I was feeling, his whole demeanour changed. He is a very calm, laidback individual, and alcohol usually just makes him silly. However, this time he got aggressive. He was shouting at me to ‘give [him] the f*****g car keys’ so he could sit there to calm down. I refused, but eventually unlocked it for him and kept the keys in my bag. I was so embarrassed as one of the other bridesmaids saw this all unfold. He has never sworn at me like that before, and never acted in that manner.
In the end, we had to leave as I was shocked and in tears, and he was too drunk to function. We ended up leaving while all of my best friend’s other bridesmaids and close friends continued on until 2am. To make matters worse, before this all unfolded, my friend tearily thanked me for being there for her and said she was so excited for us to celebrate together into the night.
My question is, how do I move on from this? I’m feeling so many emotions from sadness to disappointment and embarrassment. It might sounds silly to some, but since we had our child together three years ago, we rarely have time together and I never, ever get to let my hair down. Meanwhile, he has been on lots of stag parties abroad, boys nights out etc. I just want him to hurt as much as I am, but I’m not that way inclined. I just wish he wasn’t so selfish and put my wants and needs before his own.