I'll preface this by saying we have a very happy marriage and a wonderful life. We have a son that is our world. I come from a less than ideal childhood and home situation, and when I got into a relationship with him his parents always treated me as their own daughter.
I truly feel like they gave me everything, a home and a family to call my own.
They encouraged my career in sales and now I am a director of sales in my company.
Which leads to this situation. For the last two months I have been sent by my company in the US to spearhead their American branch; it's a massive career move and although my husband encouraged me to take it, he said he'd support any decision I would make. I decided to take it despite it being a six months commitment at minimum.
It's been two months and I can't take it anymore. I can't take talking to my family over Zoom, I miss not being able to hold my son, or sleep snuggled with my husband.
I had two weeks of leave in August and the day before my departure for the US I couldn't stop crying.
I want to quit, but I am scared about how it would impact my career. My husband and in-laws reassured me they will back my decision if I do.
I want to quit and run back to my family, but I feel so conflicted. It's not only for my career, I really want to provide my son with everything he needs like my husband does.
But I am wondering if being apart for months is really worth it…
3 comments
I wouldn’t take a long-term post away from my family, either. If it’s more than a month, they’re coming or I’m not going.
Good employers will understand and even admire this. I can’t say with certainty that it won’t negatively impact your career, but you might be surprised. Good people are endeared to people who make sacrifices for their families, and I wouldn’t want to work for a person or company that condemned me for doing that.
Since you are asking for advice, I will give you my personal advice as a husband and father, to a wife who has a busy job. Don’t quit. Think not just of your short-term, but of your long-term.
If your company values you, then ask them for a _defined_ end date. Tell them that after six months, you want assurances your time abroad will end. This finality will help you mentally feel like you have something you are progressing _towards_ instead of just feeling like you are _missing_ your life.
In the grand scheme of things, when you look back, you will not regret the six months, because it was an investment in yourself, your career, and your family. However, if you quit, you will always wonder “what if.”
First, there’s absolutely no shame. Second, it seems like you guys have an awesome life so I can’t really see that “director of sales” is such a downgrade that your life wouldn’t be the same if you found a similar position. Can you talk with someone at the company about returning? Can you bring your family to visit you or go visit them?