Brother just got his third DUI, about 3 months after getting kicked out of the house he shares with his ex girlfriend/baby mama of 2 kids. He can't go back because she got a restraining order on him and he went to a psych ward for a couple weeks. My parents have taken him on since he got out. He doesn't pay his bills, including mortgage, bills to the supply company he gets stuff from for his work (independent contractor), or really anything else. Now with this new DUI from a few days ago, he's unable to drive himself anywhere, so not sure if he's going to be able to do any work at all. But he was spending all his nights out at bars, getting back at 1-3 in the morning, and spending his money on alcohol, cigarettes, gambling and drugs, so it may be for the best.
His two children, and my parents, are the ones I'm worried about. My parents have been paying for his kids to go to pre school and after school programs, since the baby mama (who recently started working full time) refuses to contribute to any of the bills. Now my parents have paid $5,000 recently for his legal issues with her, and there's the upcoming court case for the DUI that's probably going to cost more for them, since he doesn't have two nickels to rub together. It's also unclear what's going to happen to his house since baby mama isn't going to contribute to the mortgage. My father is planning on getting a part time job driving a bus around so he can support my brothers family.
It's fucking pathetic that my brother is doing this to my family, and he's so weak mentally that I cannot have a conversation with him about it where I tell him the truth and he actually considers it.
I work remotely in finance, making ~$200k and saving regularly, focused on advancing my career, so I'm comfortable, and have been planning to move back for a few months before I move again, mainly so I can be in the area to ski. So my main hope has been that he'd be in prison by the time I got back, so I don't have to see him, because he'd probably be around a lot if he isn't in prison.
Some other highlights about my brother:
He got brought home in 6th grade by the police for marijuana, and thereafter became a regular user of that and other drugs
He visited me once since I moved out for college when I was 18
He's cost my parents ~$150k over the past 5-10 years, and I've given him maybe $30k
Got a tattoo of a dragon on his chest for some reason.
Had a motorcycle accident and fucked up his knee and refused to get it fixed.
Stabbed himself in the ass with a switch blade while drunk.
Had a loaded gun stolen out of his car, which was unlocked, and subsequently had his gun license and other guns taken away.
Has always had a thing for the trashiest chicks imaginable.
Signed half his house over to the baby mama for some reason, but mostly so he could keep her and his kids around.
Refuses to take his bipolar meds consistently.
Consistently surrounds himself with garbage people.
Had been driving drunk with his kids in his car.
He’ll be dead before 60 from smoking drinking and obesity.
Wastes a ton of money on frivolous things. Saves absolutely nothing for his own future.
Is exposing his kids to his shitty behaviors which very well may lead to their own negativity in the future. Didn't plan how he'd take care of them so my parents have baby sat them for years, pay for their activities and pre school, taking away their ability to spend their golden years traveling and doing what they would like.
One time after I’d helped him with a serious bill, which would’ve made it so he couldn’t work if it wasn’t paid, he had the gall to ask if if I wanted to split the cost of a $600 pair of earrings for his 7 year old daughter, as a fuck you to the baby mama.
The only good things here are that my parents get regular pensions from their work, and their house is paid off, and they have ~$500k saved up on the side, so they're going to be fine. But he's really fucking up our family. Hopefully my brother just changes his act, or short of that dies of cancer from all his smoking and alcohol abuse, so no one has to deal with his garbage anymore.
tl;dr: Brother (38M) is a pathetic weakling who has no self discipline or control, takes no responsibility for himself, and is dragging himself and my family down with him.