So, some time ago I made a post (which I deleted, sorry) about the recent lack of sex in my relationship, and my feelings of insecurity that had risen because of it. Since that, we've talked, she expressed her sexual interest in me, said she would try to be more expressive, we had sex a few times, and it was very good.
The last time, she was rimming me and simultaneously giving me handjob, and I orgasmed. It was one of the only times that she made me orgasm "by herself". Usually, I'm penetrating, I feel I'm about to cum, and them I take it out, jerk it a bit and them cum. Or sometimes she's licking my balls while I'm jerking, etc. Point being, it is usually a "shared" thing.
Same thing with her. Most of the times, I'm down on her, licking or licking her ass and fingering, etc, and she is masturbating simultaneously. I've done her cum just by me alone, but recently it has become less frequent.
I usually have no problem with it, but that last time made me want to make an efford and put more of myself to make her orgasm with "me alone", you know? But then, sometimes I think that she starts to because she wants to orgasm faster, or if it just feels better, etc, so I don't know.
I'm going to talk about it with her, but meanwhile, I'd like to ask to the cis women and vagina having people (sorry, english is not my first language so I don't know the specific term) about this, if you prefer when you cum as in a "collaboration", or you'd not mind to take the time to orgasm with the other person's work alone? How do you feel about it?
And in a general question to everyone, what you do to give that final effort, the cherry on top, to go from very pleasurable to orgasm inducing?