Hello. Me [24 F] and my bf [26 M] were planning to get engaged in couple of months but I’m facing an issue and have been stressed out because of it. My bf has 3 sisters. 2 of them are married and have kids. One of his sister [ 31 yo ] who is diagnosed with Bipolar disorder had got married last month and got divorced right after 2nd day of her marriage. She went into a manic episode right after she got married. Her husband was shocked seeing how severe episodes she gets and decided to not go forward with that relationship ( it was an arranged marriage – they knew each other for like 6 months ).
Now, my bf and his parents are worried about who will take care of her in the future. And I’m worried too because my bf is very close to his sister and he’s very family oriented. The parents are pretty old and I dont know how long they will be able to take care of her. My bf also frequently travels to them to take care of them. They all are so dependent on him that im worried about the future how he will manage me and our kids's responsibilities.
I feel bad about her and the situation , I’m aware that I’m being selfish but i dont want to live with them in future. I want my own space and i want him to prioritize me and our family that we build together. I discussed all of this with him and he is very supportive and understanding and says he will always prioritize us but its hard to believe since he's so close to his sister and cares so much about them.
Additionally, one of his family doctor said his sister have a lot of chances of developing dementia and will go through severe stages of her disease in future. i dont know what to do, i love him very much but i don’t want to be her care taker in the future.
TL;DR Bf’s sister is mentally ill and I don’t wish to live with her in the future. I’m concerned my future will not be the same as I envisioned. I want a happy life with him where we can travel and be with each other only.