So, I've been dating this woman for two months. We don't have a serious relationship yet, but things seem to be heading in that direction. We have a lot of common interests, and we're really enjoying each other's company.
The problem is: she’s had three previous relationships, and one of them was with a guy. They lived together for about four years and almost had a baby (she didn’t want a baby, but thought she was pregnant and decided to keep it, only to find out later that she wasn't). She broke up with him because she realized she was only attracted to women and couldn’t stay in a relationship with a man (even if she had told me before that he was the only guy that she felt in love).
Here's the thing: she told me they stayed friends, and they actually have a close friendship. The only reason they aren’t closer is that his current girlfriend doesn’t like her. He lives in another state, but they talk almost every day.
For me, this is a deal-breaker. I don’t want this kind of drama in my life. I’ve already been in a really bad relationship where I dealt with similar issues, and I’m happy now. I don’t want to start a relationship that might make me unhappy.
But we’ve only been dating for almost two months. I’m not sure if it’s too early to bring this up and understand what kind of relationship they had and what they have now. We’re not officially in a relationship, so I don’t know if I have the right to give an “ultimatum.” How should I approach this with her?
TL;DR: I've been dating a woman for two months, and while we're getting closer, she maintains a close friendship with a past boyfriend she lived with for four years. This is a deal-breaker for me due to past experiences. I'm unsure if it's too early to bring this up or how to approach the conversation with her.