So I may totally be overthinking or misinterpreting this, but I’ve often heard that if men or women randomly start to take a lot of interest in their appearance after not doing so for the majority of their relationship, it could be a signal they’re on the hunt for a different partner. I know this isn’t a psychologically proven fact, but I’ve personally seen scenarios where this has often been the case in my life and others. I know it could 100% be attributed to personal growth and self improvement, but I was curious if anyone had any advice or feedback to know one way or the other.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for close to a year now. When we first met, he was working out and would frequently work overtime at his job. I later found out (after starting our relationship) that his overtime work was bc of a female coworker who asked him to stay longer bc she liked him. Once we started dating though, him going to the gym and working over time both stopped completely. Over the past year, I can count maybe a handful of times he’s gone to the gym or worked overtime. Until recently..
We have been having some relationships issues and about a month ago, he started going to the gym almost every night after work, getting on a diet to lose weight, and working overtime like 3 times every week. While I don’t think he’s working overtime for the reasons he did before, although I can’t be sure, it just seems weird that after we start having some problems that he starts working more and focusing more on his appearance, which he never cared about for the past year. I know it could just be a stress relief thing and something to keep him busy, but as I mentioned earlier, I’ve heard it said that when people in relationships start focusing on their money and appearances randomly, it could be them fixing themselves up to find a new prospect.
He doesn’t have any huge financial goals that I’m aware of that would require him to work more/save more, and he never mentioned being unhappy with his appearance or having any inclination to work on it. I’m not saying these aren’t great things for someone to do (focus on their career and health) and I’ve been very supportive of both, I just wanted to make sure it was for the right reasons.
Furthermore, about the same time he started working more and working out more, he traded in his Toyota Camry for a two door sports car that he’s always wanted. Again, absolutely nothing wrong with that and I’m happy he got his dream car, it just seems like he’s doing all of these things out of nowhere and I can’t figure out why. I’ve been doing my own things to improve and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be better physically, mentally, and financially but it does concern me because we some of the issues we had stemmed from infidelity and dishonesty.
Despite how this may come across, I want the best for him and I want him to be financially secure and secure within himself (his appearance, means of transportation, etc). I don’t want to come to him with these concerns if it’s genuinely nothing, but I also don’t think if he was doing all of this to make him a more appealing bachelor, that he would tell me anyways.
Has anyone been through anything similar or have any constructive feedback for how I should be looking at this situation so I don’t make myself anxious if it isn’t necessary?😂 I’d like to reiterate once more because I know people can take things negatively when they aren’t meant to be, I’m not trying to be unsupportive or cynical, but given our past issues, just wanted to know if there was any cause for concern or it it was truly harmless and I was just being paranoid.
TLDR: my bf has recently started going to the gym, working overtime a lot, and got a new sports car out of nowhere and I’m curious if this is innocent or cause for concern