I (29F) recently moved to a new area by myself and I had been very nervous about it because I get lonely easily and wouldn't know anyone. Fortunately I met this really great guy (31M) a couple of months in and fell in love. He kindly introduced me to so many wonderful new places in the area and we've gotten to spend so much time together. We have similar interests, similar long-term goals and are both financially stable. He has so many interesting hobbies I love learning about. I look forward to every mundane thing we do together and also the bigger things we've been planning. I really love this guy more than anyone I've ever loved before. He's the person I want to come home to everyday.
8 months in and we've been arguing a lot. The pattern usually goes, I start a discussion on something that I think we could go about in a better way or just talk and understand each other's actions better, then he gets super defensive and sometimes mean and it turns into an agrument. I tried approaching him in different ways but he's becoming resistant to talking about any sort of friction between us insisting that it's not a big deal and that my anxiety is making something out of nothing. It's hurting my feelings because I don't feel heard. And he's right in a way, none of these concerns are truly a big deal, but in that case why does he react to them in such a way. If he'd just listen and try to understand, I'd probably never need to talk about it again. Instead I overthink it all and as a result need to talk about it more which frustrates him more.
I'm willing to put in the effort to work through this, but it feels like he isn't even though he insists he does and that he loves me so much and wants me for the long haul. I'm confused because I don't want to loose him and the thought of being in this new town after having what I have with him is incredibly intimidating and I know the loneliness is going to affect me badly. Not to mention the memories of this place will all be with him.
I struggle because we get along super well as long as long I don't bring up any friction. So I'm also worried that maybe it is my anxiety. Or maybe he's deflecting the issue onto me. I can't tell.
What should I do? I need advice.
TL;DR: I (29F) moved to a new area by myself and started dating a guy (31M) and fell and love. 8 months in, the relationship doesn't seem to be working as well. I'm afraid of being alone in this new place and mainly saying goodbye to someone I love very much.