So we met at the start of the summer, I had already booked my vacations for July, August and September. After the first one we argued a bit because she saw that there was a girl in my group of friends. We passed this situation but I think she had some thoughts in her head about all this.
Then we were talking about the next vacation of mine and my group of friends (a couple and a female friend). She was really angry about the fact that another girl will be there, I explained to her that she is a friend from a young age, I purposed to arrange a meeting so she could meet them but nothing.
She also brung her culture to the conversation, telling that this is not an accepted format of vacation. She is from Russia.
She sent me a message at the day of my flight, that she cannot accept this. We met the night I returned discussed a bit but she was rude, and I felt like she could not take a step back, she was locked at the fact that she felt that I left her, that I didn’t respect her feelings, she was disappointed and angry.
There were some times that night that she was a bit softer but when she toggled the switch she could not hear anything, she was so focused on her feelings that no one else mattered.
I know that she had a weird childhood, she has some issues with attention and with relationships in general. She was not capable of maintaining a relationship longer than 2 months for at least 6 years, and I feel like she didn’t feel anything for me rather than the things that I provided, attention, care, and the fact that she was my priority. Her therapist also told her that she should try not to run and things like that, but I guess because running from relationships is part of her identity now, it was like she was searching for an occasion so she could just run again.
So the moment I decided to put myself as a priority and go to my trips, she ended things. This is how I feel at least, my therapist told me some things that she could understand from my description of her. Most of them made sense, like narcissistic behaviour, manipulation, etc.
The way things ended is so strange to me that it’s been very hard to accept it. I wrote her a letter, put it under her door, her response was so self-centred I felt disappointment.
So now, I don’t know how to proceed. I want to try things with her, to support each other and I feel like she wants this too but when the thought of “what I did” comes to her mind she returns to the cold self-centred self.
If you reached this part, have you encountered a person like this in a relationship? How did you manage?
Sorry for the long post, thank you for reading my complicated thoughts.