it's not that i truly think i *am* unwanted, it's that it takes very little for me to feel like i'm repulsing or bothering people / being othered in a social setting, this extends to all relationships just as much as it does interactions with new people
last year i'd deal with it by going into social isolation believing i truly was unwanted, this year i'm making more of an effort to stay realistic and try to create relationships where i can be more honest with people but it's very difficult to not feel like i'm *intruding* in some way whenever i put myself into social situations, no matter how small. i do highly struggle to read people and understand their relationship to / perception of me so even when it feels like i'm being treated unfairly i don't want to blame anybody else cause that would stick me in unhealthy relationships and i wouldnt wanna risk letting my emotions make me high maintenance. i'm mainly just wanting to know how to keep on top of my emotions in these situations while also letting other people know how i feel when it's warranted in a way that isnt unhealthy for me or anyone else