Context:
I come from a very conservative and restrictive Indian household with some difficult childhood memories. Growing up, my family didn’t have open communication or a space to express ourselves. In contrast, my husband and his family are very different; they believe in openly expressing their thoughts, having conversations, and resolving issues quickly through dialogue.
Current Situation:
When my husband and I argue ( which does not happen often), I tend to shut down, avoid any dialogue, and withdraw from the situation. I believe I do this to process my thoughts. My husband understands this and supports me taking time to gather myself, but sometimes I stay in this shell for 2-3 days. During this time, I don't intentionally try to hurt him or give him the cold shoulder. However, my husband has expressed that my behavior feels hurtful and disrespectful. He mentioned that it seems like I’m in control of when things can return to normal, which makes him feel powerless .I understand how my actions could hurt him and affect our relationship, but I struggle to improve. It's not a deliberate attempt to get back at him or give him the silent treatment—I genuinely have difficulty expressing my emotions or discussing the issue rationally in the heat of the moment.
Any advice on how I can work on this?