I come from a low income, single parent home and grew up with my mom who had a very Joe Jackson (Michael Jackson’s dad) like parenting style and i’m her only child so it was really strict in my house. So I made it my life goal to give my future kids a better life than what I had. My ex that I am trying to work it out with he’s got his masters, he makes six figures, and he values education as much as I do and family and loyalty and religion. However, due to him not being from America we have some strong cultural differences and he also doesn’t believe in love and saying I love you. Which is so different for me because I’ve been in relationship where we say those 3 words just after 3 weeks. But I really want to work it out solely because we both are in our twenties and upper middle class, and are career driven and can comfortably live the typical American dream family I never had growing up. We’ve been on and off for 4 years so we know each other deeply. But he’s not romantic at all like one time he didn’t do or give me anything on my birthday which he knew how special that was to me… But other than that I know we would just be peaceful married together but I think i might get bored… I’m just venting you don’t have to respond but I appreciate the commentary..
6 comments
It would be a hollow and empty marriage. Geez. If you think you can live the rest of your life without love, sure, go ahead. But honestly, I would not bring children into the world with this type of a man as their father.
You sound like you believe in love but it’s not love you describe. I’m not sure a person who believes in it can be happy in a marriage without it. Don’t sacrifice
Does he want to marry? Get premarital counseling. What do you both need?
Last I checked 60% is a D- and 70% is a C-. I don’t think these are acceptable standards.
Marriage isn’t easier than dating. And if he’s failing dating, then maybe he’s not marriage material for you.
“It is with sincere regret that we inform you that we will not be moving forward with your application.”
Sounds fucking miserable, drop that
First off, without adding the additional info of your post I would say that 80% is marriage range, and that you can work hard to turn a 70% into an 80% once you fully establish your needs and recognize what are needs and what are just low-level wants you have from pre-conceived notions you were taught about relationships.
That being said, I feel like you’d be sacrificing your literal happiness for the sake of the “American Dream” so I highly suggest you get your priority straight.
Also something something sunken cost fallacy. 4 years means nothing if the dude literally DOES NOT LOVE YOU??? WHAT?! Sure some cultures can maybe be anti-PDA or be pro-arranged marriage regardless of developing love, but since you’re dating interculturally I don’t see how that mindset could even remain if that was the case.