Hi everyone 😊
I am 29F living and working in London. I am really struggling with dating. Getting matches and first dates is going okay, but it always goes south when I tell the guy that I have a PhD in a STEM field. Matters are made worse when it is revealed I completed the PhD at age 26 and from the highest ranked university in the country.
It seems to me that guys immediately stop seeing me as feminine/attractive/fun as soon as I reveal the cursed PhD. I have been insulted straight to my face – “no alpha male will want you”, “you’ll never have a family with the kind of man you want”, “now I understand why you’re still single” etc etc.
The kind of man I want is someone intelligent and ambitious, but also not insecure enough to view me as a competition. I loved doing my PhD but honestly I don’t think having one makes me smarter than anyone else – just very knowledgeable about one particular area. It has almost become like a dirty secret that I feel compelled to reveal when asked about my studies on dates.
I am starting to panic because I really want children and it makes me feel like I am failing to bring them into the world by not being able to land the right guy, and for such a ridiculous reason as having a PhD!
Any thoughts and advice are welcome!