TLDR: My dad is being so negative, constantly criticising me and my mum, and just being plain nasty. What can I do?
My dad (63) has never been a ray of sunshine but in the last six months he’s been really negative towards me (25) and my mum (57). He’s always criticising her even though she does everything for him. He’s also started digging me out over nothing. Mum just brushes it off but I can’t deal with it. He’s always got some negative remark to make about everything we do, always trying to prove us wrong. He hasn’t always been like this but he has always been a big complainer. My only theory is that I’m moving into my own place soon, and I’m getting married so maybe he’s anxious about it and he’s taking it out on us but it doesn’t excuse his behaviour and general poor attitude towards everyone and everything.
Has anyone got any experience with how to deal with relatives who suddenly sour? How did you deal with them and their behaviour?
2 comments
What does you moving to your own place have to do with his behavior? He is a grown man and responsible for his actions. I personally just told them clearly about their behavior, and cut contact. It might seem harsh but having to deal with this kind of negativity and criticism daily for over 20 years put a toll on me and I just did what was necessary for me.
Every time I leave home for a big trip / go back to college my mom acts so rude towards me, I think it’s that if she feels like she’s about to lose me it has to be on her own terms. I haven’t dealt with it but maybe ask him why he’s being such a grump. Or say ‘dad, you’ve been really mean to me and mom lately. It makes me feel bad, Is there something we can do to change this’ or something similar in your own words. If your relationship is that open. If it hurts to try then don’t 🤞🏽🤞🏽