I’m very sorry if theres a lot of grammatical errors. Im just really scared right now and I want help… please someone help me. – If you would like to know more about anything please ask me.
We’ve known each other for around a year and a half and only recently started dating (2 months or so) – We are both teens around the same age (both almost 16)
We’ve always wanted each other and showed it. Until we finally committed.
My girlfriend had a very hard childhood with physical abuse and no love. She is very suicidal. She attempted multiple times and failed and now I’m here for her. I gave her love and care that she deserved and now she loves me with everything. I want to support her and be with her until the future forever. She wasn’t planning on living past the age of 18. I believe that because she has mental illnesses and has already attempted many times. I gave her a reason to live and loved her. I also found a goal in life which is to support her and succeed in life to take care of her in the future. Because we were so in love, we tend to show a bit of clinginess and go maybe a little bit further than a normal teen relationship.
Now that we love each other a lot, we started going on dates. I regretfully sometimes lied to my mother about going out with friends when I went out with her. I told my mother that our relationship wasn’t that far but I thought she’d get the hint from me getting flustered about it. As my mother’s an adult, she knows that I am lying to her which made her mad but played dumb. Both my parents know about my girlfriend’s mental state. My mother feels pity for her and wants me to keep supporting her and both be successful. But my father does not like her mental state and dislikes her. He is very emotionless and does not care. He always told my mom that I wasn’t going with friends but instead my girlfriend. He did not believe me whereas my mom reassured him.
One day, my mother found out I went to my volleyball practice each week 30 minutes earlier to see my girlfriend only instead of practicing with her (which was the original reason I told her) – but the worst part is I cancelled my tutor that day to see her earlier with the excuse of (volleyball practice early) – my mother found out about that and got very mad. I had to go earlier that time as my girlfriend was having a very hard time. I just wanted to calm her down and make her feel better. When I got back from school the next day, my mother got extremely mad at me and screamed at me. I reassured her that it would never happen again and that we would succeed together and support my mother in the future. On the same day I reassured her, I met my girlfriend with my mother knowing this time.
My girlfriend and I sat on a bench in a public area hugging. She put her legs on top of mine and hugged me. I kissed her head when she put her head on my shoulder. But my parents saw us right then. That’s when everything went downhill.. My mother called me over, screamed at me, threatened me that she’d take everything away from me. My school, my future, my money, my hair everything… Telling me that she didn’t even do those things in university. She told us why don’t you guys have sex at the bench at this point (which meant that she was disgusted at us hugging). She was also mad that we had our school uniforms on. My mother gets mad because we were hugging. Are we not allowed to hug in public? She told me to quit everything and leave her and I started breaking down. My mom left in anger, and I went back to my girlfriend in an alleyway where no one saw. I broke down in tears while she comforted me and lost my mind. We were supposed to meet my girlfriends mom originally because she loves me for loving her daughter so she was planning to buy us dinner. My girlfriend told her mom all about what happened and she came to see me breaking down. She reassured me and told me to stop crying that everything was going to be ok. My girlfriend in shock told me that our relationship was over (this is because of her mental illness shes capable of ending things right away) – my mother and her mother had a talk after that. My mom was telling her what happened in anger telling her what we were doing there in public was unacceptable while her mother tried to comfort her (she really didn’t think that this situation was that shocking as we were just hugging) – we went back home after all that and I listened to my mother scream at me once again asking me if I want to shave my head bald and be with my girlfriend and lose all support from my parents or leave her. I told her at that time my girlfriend would’ve moved on already. She told me to go to my dad and beg on my knees for forgiveness and that her decision will also be decided by what my dad says. I apologized to my father. He lectured me about adults having responsibilities and how we were doing adult things. He told me to focus on studying telling me that there are many women out there and told me to move on and for some dumb reason I agreed to it.
I then texted her again, reassured her and made her love me again. I told her that everythings fine and we can prove them wrong and move out together. We went back to normal and tried to find ways to calm our parents down.
My mom drove off somewhere in anger and called her friend who calmed her down. She came back and we had a talk. She apologized for being so overly mad at the situation as shes never experienced something like this. She was telling me that we could’ve been seen by other friends that she knew which would ruin her image. Told us that if we didn’t do any of that she would’ve instead not care about us being together there and buy us things because she originally supported us. Then things got emotional and apologized for that and told her that we were going to improve in our studies and not do any of that again. My mom started to bring out her inner “support” feelings out again. But still, my mother does not trust me anymore. Deep down she still wants us to be together as she knows about my girlfriend’s mental state and knows I am the only one that can help. But at the moment she is still mad. She talked about how she wants to see me succeed before she dies and still loves me. But she is still disappointed in me.
But me and my mother both realized the real problem was my dad now. I should’ve told him that it would probably take some time for us to move on and to give us some time so we could somehow in that time, convince him that we can improve. I need help on this part.
My mother told me us to prove her wrong that we wont do those things again and we’ll work very hard to be with each other again.
Now it’s a few days past and nothings really happened. But.. me and my girlfriend swapped hoodies a few weeks ago and my mother wants us to trade it back. I have volleyball tomorrow so she wants me to trade it tomorrow. We normally pick my girlfriend up after volleyball finishes to drop her off at home. Since we cant meet eachother anymore, my mothers planning to drive to her house for us to switch it back. My girlfriend told me that she doesn’t want to see me or my mother under those conditions as its awkward. Im pretty sure she still wants to see me but just not in those conditions. She told me “I don’t even wanna look at you”. Im starting to think she’s losing interest in me. I asked her if she hated me and she said no. She told me she still likes me but shes getting fed up of this situation. What do I do… How should I tell my mother that I want us to keep going. That I want us to keep meeting each other and make each other happy for the future. I don’t think time is an option right now because if my girlfriend loses interest and leaves, she wont pass the age of 18 and I wont either because there is no point in life without her. Why would I work my ass off to succeed if my efforts don’t go to her? If I lose her, im not going to live anymore. Please someone help me.