How to stop being awkward

I don't know if this is something I can learn or practice. I've spent 24 years with myself, growing up I kind of was a outsider, always ended up moving so I have no childhood friends. I have a boyfriend now who is incredibly social and loves doing things and bringing me around people. I don't think most of them care, and I think I'm liked by a good few of them. However, I constantly find myself filled with dread and intense internal criticism about awkward silences and not being good at goodbyes, and conversations in general. I kind of dislike myself at times due to this reason like I'm just broken and can't be fixed.