sooo i did lose my vcard recently and i’ve been enjoying being sexually active with my bf, although in the beginning the entire thing made me uncomfortable, but i really just needed a little bit of time to get comfortable with him and sex in general.
we’ve had long convos about what i do and don’t like and he’s adjusted well and made the experience better for me. of course there’s still a lot i have to find out about myself in regards to what i like but yeah.
anyways the other night my boyfriend and i went to target together and usually when he’s “in the mood” he starts being very touchy with me and wants to makeout. the times this has happened it was when we were already in the comfort of his home and nobody else was around. however this time he started doing it out in public when we were at target.
i’m not against PDA so i did kiss him back and let him touch me, but that wasn’t the problem. the problem was when he eventually whispered something in my ear about “going to the bathroom” together and “doing things”. i looked at him a little bit flustered and in the moment the idea seemed fun? he has talked about public stuff before we became sexually active with each other but he always told me he didn’t wanna be TOO bold about it because he doesn’t want to get caught and end up on some registry, but it seemed like something in him changed?
i did agree to go to the bathroom with him. we went late at night so there weren’t THAT many people in the store and nobody was continuously going in and out of the bathroom. and as embarrassing as it is to admit, we did do things in the bathroom but we didn’t get caught or anything.
but since that night he’s been wanting to do stuff with me almost everytime we’re out in public at a store or the mall or something. i don’t think he’s doing it “on purpose” (like going out in public with me just for that reason) but he liked the time at target and now he’s obsessed with public stuff.
i’m not always in the mood for sex, especially not in situations where we could get caught but my bf seems obsessed with it now. i wanna tell him that im not really into it as much as he is and i don’t wanna do that everytime we go outside. how do i talk to him about it without him taking it personally or like i don’t want him sexually?
UPDATE: i told him and it was a really simple conversation. i just told him that i'm not into the public sex thing and don't want to risk getting caught over something we can just do at home, in a more private space. i did explain to him the whole sex registry thing and how it would look bad on him as a veteran, and bad on me as someone who wants to work in the animal care field.
he understood this risk and was comfortable with my dislike for public sex and told me that he does enjoy it, hence why he's been wanting to do it again, but he doesn't want me to do something that i'm uncomfortable with. he agreed that he won't suggest those things anymore.
i'm really glad that this went better than i thought it would and that we were able to talk about it easily without it being an petty argument.