Hey Reddit!
Long time lurker, looking for some advice. So I (23f) have had a history of unhealthy relationships/situationships where I felt like I was being treated as a placeholder/substitution/object, and so took a couple years out to be single and really work on myself – improve my self-esteem, self-worth, and focus on friends.
A couple of months ago I took a risk asking a guy (28m) for his number at a house party, and have been seeing him. After date 3, he made it clear he was looking for short term due to moving away which was a bit disappointing, but I was honestly fine with as I was only beginning to dip my toes back into dating. As you might see where this is going, I recently learnt he is still meeting up with/close friends with his ex who cheated on him after a breakup 6 months ago.
This has triggered a lot of negative emotions in me – I'm glad I now have the self-awareness to understand I'm being used for whatever reason (likely it's for the physical benefits while he still gets the emotional closeness from the ex but who knows), but I just wanted to ask for any advice or enlightenment on why I seem to keep finding these men? I really thought I'd worked hard on myself, and it came so out of the blue with this guy – even my friends couldn't see it! So I'm naturally a bit devastated this is happening all over again, that I'm feeling used once again, and wanted to ask for any insight or tips you might have for further self-improvement as I'm a bit at a loss.