What can I get a mate for his 60th?

13 comments

1. tix to a game/merch, or a golf gear subscription box for a year.

2. Spell out a rude message in cupcakes.

   Or alternatively – You’re just a Mackem in disguise.

3. Newcastle top with Old Git on the back.

4. My brother got me a bus pass holder.

5. A pack of viagra and a carpenter’s mallet?

6. My mate had his 60th during the first COVID lockdown. I hadn’t seen him for about 18 months by this point.

   I spent ages making him a This Is Your Life style video. I got loads of people to send me clips retelling stories. The time he was in a brass band and missed his cue, the lost weekend on mescaline in Vegas, a long lost girlfriend who had ghosted in the 90s and still loved him, the 18 year old lad he tutored through his A levels.

   I presented it from the sofa, wearing a velvet jacket and cravat, and just linked each clip in my best Michael Aspell way.

   Thing is…. They were all entirely made up by each person (I didn’t even prompt them) and my mate had never met a single one of those people.

   I also paid £50 on Cameo for a message from a well known DJ to add a story. (That one *was* true, actually, and was the time he’d accidentally slagged this DJ off without realising he was behind him).

   My mate absolutely loved it.

7. Could you get him a Sunderland top that is signed by the current Newcastle team or his favourite Newcastle player?

   That would really confuse him!

8. 60 birthday cakes

9. A prostate exam 👍

10. A B&Q voucher and instructions on how to build a coffin

11. Coffin

12. Send various mailings to saga holidays, tena man , walk in baths etc anything you can come up with.

13. 60 stink lizards? – guys like swarms of things right?

    Edit: typo