Growing up, I learned a hard truth: not everyone stays. As a child, I never had that enduring circle of friends, a constant presence in my life. After my parents separated, I moved in with my father, and somewhere around fourth grade, a profound shift occurred. I began to understand the complexities of building my own identity, searching for those enduring connections – the "for keeps" friendships.
Don't get me wrong, I have happy memories, but the pain of the past lingers. I grew up feeling alone, yearning for someone to share the mundane details of my day, someone to simply be there.
Now, as an adult, I find myself grappling with a different kind of loneliness. The irony is that even though I'm surrounded by people, I struggle to take care of myself. Perhaps it's because I still hold onto the hope that someone else will step in and fill that void. But the harsh reality is that, ultimately, self-care is a responsibility I must shoulder.
I long for a moment of respite, a chance to truly nurture myself. It's a sad truth, this constant struggle. Yet, I cling to the hope that one day, I'll rediscover the smile that was stolen from me during my childhood. The smile that reflects a sense of wholeness and self-acceptance.
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consider other people’s views
how do i view your view?
7. you struggle. stop struggling. why struggle? you view a lot of things as “musts” or “shoulds”. expectations. your expectations are breaking you. YOU GET TO. every day, every thing, these are all the chances you are looking for. stop searching for something you’ll never find. everything you need is right here, in the present. YOU GET TO do all these things. you have the chance to take care of yourself. you have the chance to nurture yourself. you have all sorts of chances, everywhere in your life. every time you wake up, it’s a new chance. perspective matters. if you close your eyes, you’ll never see a chance. if you always turn away, you’ll never see it. repeat this to yourself every morning: “I GET TO”. you get to wake up, you get to brush your teeth, you get to eat, you get to drink. all these things are something you get. every single day. YOU DON’T HAVE TO, BUT YOU GET TO.
9. stop searching for “true connections”. it’s obvious why you’re failing. you’re setting goals. the nature of ambitious goals is, they are deceptive. goal search, even in simple problems, such as mazes, succeeds 10 times less than novelty search. the difference is even bigger with complex problems, such as friendships and psychology. HERE IS SOMETHING NEW. If you try 1000 times, you only need to succeed 0.1% of the time. Cool, right? Try 10 times per day and you succeed in 100 days, with a 0.1% success rate, you can get what you want. if you just iterate often enough. it takes belief and persistence. persistence doesn’t matter that much, because GOALS ARE DEcEPTIVE. So this is where CURIOSITY comes in. PERSISTENCE AND CURIOSITY BREED SUCCESS. Curiosity is similar to mindfulness. true mindfulness is pleasant. seek to get to know 1000 people, just acquaintances. then try to befriend 100 of them or so, maybe even 1000. and, trust me, you will befriend more than 0.1% of people. lol
you can stop reading here, or continue to see more of my perspectives and perceptions.
1. you are an adult, and this means something to you, it’s a sign that you “should be” in some kind of way. why?
2. when people look for someone else, their own self is not enough for them, seems to be the case for you. why?
3. you cling to memories, apparently things were stolen – you lack gratitude, in a way – regarding ownership. why?
4. you have happy memories but they’re something special for you – i guess most memories are negative. why?
5. you are seeking some kind of chance, but you seem to be looking in the future. this is not where it will be found.
6. you consider “sad truths” and “harsh truths” – you are emotionally attached to these belief and you’re creating self-fulfilling prophecies in your own life. why?
8. you think “someone being there” will change something. why? no it won’t. there are someone’s all around you. you’re just looking for temporary solutions to permanent problems.
10. man you’re so serious. start laughing. bring some humour into your life. humour IS life.